He is mindful of me

 Crazy mind.. 11.1.2025 It kind of fits in The lost piece of the puzzle The missing link..  Those sunny good days Razzle dazzle with energy  Creativity in the kitchen Be a go getter Goal setter, challenges all the better And then the grey days When the mood is low And fatigue and weariness Settle deep in my soul..  And my best friend Madam anxiety Manipulative scheming Watches me freeze, get paralyzed She sits back beaming..  And then my highly sensitive persona Picking up moods and feelings All the monkeys, all MY circus Everyone and everything sends me reeling..  The deep dank dark pit of blackness Where there is no escape Hold my head and rock myself Despair sorrow my dark drape..  Who understands?  Is there anyone who cares?  Who am I?  The darkness, the brightness, the paralysis stare..  Auras migraines Too much going on What is happening?  Who can hold me on?  The God who sees Who knows my name Who understands pain a...

 For 2025, doubt and faith 31.12.2024 From the old to the new But will anything really change When tomorrow is through?  The sun will rise,  The sun will set And the day will be over We'll soon forget..  But the One Who will never change Has tomorrow With all its share of  Joys and sorrows..  The calendar page will turn The hour glass will be upended He holds the future In all its moments..  Will there be weeping Anguish in the soul Jesus will help us bear it All our deep dark black holes..  Will I be there?  Hold myself together?  I so wish My mind fickle as the weather..  Jesus, my brother Don't ever let me go I'm drowning, save me Hold me close..  Lisa Choudhrie

 Exchange places 31.12.2024 Do you want to exchange places with me?  Just for a minute, feel the rush of anxiety..  The racing, careening, endless repetitions Of the events and the conversations..  The conflicts and the adrenaline rush of fear No, Sir, you wouldn't want to come here..  Thudding heart, knot in my chest Tidal wave of chaos, unruly, unkempt Locked away, far from reality Surrounded by wild tempestuous seas..  This is anxiety Mental paralysis Bringing me to my knees Help me dear God, please..  Worst case scenarios The what it's and now this is what will happen And I can't control anyone I give up, and bow down..  Breathe in, box breaths EMDR, CBT they all help Bible verses too Combating lies with the truth..  And through it all Jesus has it all He understands Because He became a man..  You are my strong foundation You are my Salvation You are my Deliverer My High Tower..  I am weak, He is strong He will see me through th...

 Living water 19.11.2024 Wonder what she was thinking As she hurried with her water pot In the heat of the day?  Resignation at her fate That people snickered and gossiped And passed rude comments along the way?  She had no inkling what lay in store No premonition that change was coming Her life and many more..  Wonder what He thought as He waited by the well?  He knew He was on a special assignment He moved as His Father said..  Did He, may I presume, Holy God That You identified with her?  Those barbs and cruel remarks His mother, His birth,  A Child's puzzlement at sneers..  So they met And had a heart to Heart,  Outcaste tainted lady And a Savior  Who had loved her from the start..  She must have been beautiful In her heydays Those eyes, her gait, that expression Now ravaged by age and rejection And she met an unwavering gaze..  They had a strange conversation Deep meaningful and revealing A heart thirsty for true love...

 The Lord is my Shepherd 4.11.2024 The Lord is my Shepherd  Even when my mind is racing Especially when my thoughts are chaotic When I'm on the brink of insanity The Lord is my Shepherd..  The Lord is my Shepherd Even when the voices of despair are shouting Especially when I am deafened by my inner critic When I'm caught in the whirlpool of madness The Lord is my Shepherd..  The Lord is my Shepherd Even when I can't go beyond the first line  Especially when I'm alone in the mayhem When I'm slipping down the slope of the pit The Lord is my Shepherd..  The Lord is my Shepherd Even when deep breathing doesn't help Especially when the eye movement exercises prove useless When I need to take my prn medicine The Lord is my Shepherd..  The Lord is my Shepherd Even when I resort to binging Especially when I can't stop munching When all I can do is go to sleep The Lord is my Shepherd..  The Lord is my Shepherd Even when I fall asleep in exhaustion and desp...

 Post op pain day #12, 16.10.2024 In a place of physical pain Where every breath hurts And i can't stop brooding That it can't get any worse… So many whys All over my brain And the ‘when will this end?’ I’m all drained.. Where will I go to?  To whom will I turn?  No one who understands All these laments from my being as it churns.. But there is a glimmer of hope Jesus walks in this valley with me Each painful step, each throb of pain He understands, totally.. I don’t understand Nor do I pretend to,  ‘Light and momentary afflictions’ Feel weighty and never ending too.. His hands are gentle They're also scarred And His visage  Was unrecognisably marred.. He bore the stripes All thirty nine vicious and brutal For our healing He did not struggle.. I can rest  Even in this, He is near This body will decay But He is here… Lisa Choudhrie